The Butterfly Effect

We have quite the momentum going with Hollow Company. Let’s not lose it. Let’s continue to speak for all those whose voices were stolen. #silenceallowsviolence

Hi everyone! You’ve likely found your way here because you know me personally, or have read my book Hollow Company and wanted to do some creeping. Whatever category you fit into, welcome!

Hollow Company was a work of blood, sweat, and tears (mostly tears if I’m being honest), and I’m thrilled it’s finally on the market, and readers are able to share some of those emotions with me. When the e-book dropped on February 1st, and the hard copy the following day… I was beside myself with the amount of support it received.

As a writer, especially one who has written a piece so deeply personal, there are many emotions involved, and lingering questions. Will people like it? What will they think? Will it even reach the audience I’m hoping for it to?

Well, it’s officially been a week and my worries have been silenced. The support from my local community has been nothing but astonishing. I feel that they’ve lifted me up, and helped me be a voice for victims of Domestic Violence. Many readers have expressed that they couldn’t put it down, and were drawn into the book immediately. I feel this response is every authors dream. No one wants their book left unread, gathering dust because it lacks appeal.

I‘ve already had strangers personally reach out to me, telling me they purchased Hollow Company, and it was exactly what they needed to hear. I know that my story will help victims work through their emotions, and gain the courage to flee a dangerous relationship. I’ve already reached the goal I set out to accomplish.

Why did I write this book you ask?

• Victims deserve a voice. So often we’re overpowered by the voice of our abusers. Abusers tend to be charismatic, and manipulative to more people in their lives than just their partners. As a result, the victims are left feeling silenced, like their story doesn’t matter. I’m here to tell you it does!
• Victims need to understand that they‘re not alone. Abuse is such a taboo topic, and that reason alone is why the cycle gets to continue. I know that in your life, and relationship you feel like NO ONE else could possibly understand. We do. We want you to know that you’re not alone… in fact, 12 million people experience intimate partner violence annually.
• Red flags need to be more understood. Seeing the small red flags before a violent situation occurs, and choosing to leave then… could potentially save your life. Knowing these red flags can also help you protect your friends and family by pointing them out. POINT. THEM. OUT. Do not stay silent. Many times when someone is in a relationship, their vision is cloudy, and they don’t see what is clear to others. But if they don’t listen, please stand by their side. They need you more than you’ll ever realize.
• Abuse knows no bounds. Abusers can come from ALL walks of life. They can be successful and have a large social network. If a victim tells you about their situation, believe them. As previously stated abusers are good at pulling the wool over the eyes of everyone in their life. How often do we hear “they seemed like a good person. I never imagined they’d do this?” Hellooooo Ted Bundy ring a bell?
• Those who haven’t been abused need to understand why we can’t “just leave.” There are 1,000 reasons why it might be difficult for someone to just “walk away,” but the most pressing reason that I keep going back to is: It is more dangerous to LEAVE an abuser to stay with them. Read it again. Marinate in it. That is a cold hard fact. 75% of domestic violence related homicides occur upon separation and there is a 75% increase of violence upon separation for at least two years.
• I wanted to tell my story to be a voice for all of the women and men who were robbed the chance to. I dedicated my book to one of these beautiful and brave individuals (Kelley Elizabeth Stage). I’m lucky to be here, and I will do everything in my power to give these individuals the voice they deserved.

What topics will I be blogging about?

• Much of this blog’s focus will be centered around various aspects of relationships.
• I’ll talk about love languages, and ways to maintain a healthy relationship with yourself and others.
• I’ll explain how to identify red flags, the cycle of abuse, and typical abusive behaviors that are often overlooked.
• I’ll discuss different resources to help victims of violence.
• I’ll discuss childhood trauma and what that means in regards to relationships in adulthood.
• I’ll talk about the long lasting effects abuse has on a person.
• I’ll talk about services to assist the victim, the family unit, and the perpetrator.
• I’ll talk about what to do if you find a loved one is in an abusive relationship.
• I’ll highlight important ways to keep yourself safe if you are in/attempting to leave an abusive relationship, including creating a safety plan.
• I‘ll interview other victims and tell their stories for them.
• I’ll cover any more topics that my readers express interest in me covering.

My goal for this blog is to truly create a safe space for those who need it. To be your guru on all things relationship, and to be the voice you needed to hear. I’ll continue to advocate for victims of all walks of life, and learn through my intereaction with all of you.

It’s a pleasure to have this platform, and I thank you for allowing me to use it in a positive way.

As always, don’t hesitate to reach out! I’m a social worker; it’s my deepest passion to build people up, and help them identify personal strengths they can utilize to get through whatever tough shit they’re facing.

I plan to publish a weekly blog on Fridays, as well as any other day I’m feeling inspired to.

See you Friday… and until then, may all our monsters rot.

PS: all you lovely people made Hollow Company SELL OUT on Amazon. Unbelievable. It is still available in e-book form on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. But, if you’re looking for that hard copy, click here.